I Hate Everything

I hate reality TV. Now that we’re in the “golden age of television,” there’s no excuse to watch any Real Housewife ever again.

I hate “entertainment news,” which has become about the personal lives of “celebrities” (as opposed to entertainment). And everyone is hawking their own line of clothing (or something else that has nothing to do with entertainment).

I hate jukebox musicals and theatrical adaptations of movies. Doesn’t anybody write anything original anymore?

I hate the evening news, with its human interest stories and manipulative emotional uplift.

I hate social media. I hate the way it shows us people’s carefully curated, perfect lives and the way that makes us feel. I hate the way it spreads hatred and misinformation. And I hate that nothing is being done about it.

I hate iPhones. I hate the way we’ve become a society of iPhone zombies with nobody looking up or interacting with other actual human beings anymore. In my Travis Bickle moments, I think that a bomb could go off in one of these zombie's laps and they wouldn’t even notice.

I hate corporations for paying their workers nothing while they rake in record profits. For selling us expensive crap we don’t need. For claiming ownership over anything authentic and trying to sell it back to us at a profit.

I hate Republicans. I hate the way not a single one of them (except Justin Amash, who just left the party) has stood up to Trump or uttered one peep about any of his wrongdoing.

I hate Trump with a passion. Because, on a daily basis, he’s breaking the law and destroying the institutions of democracy. Not only that, but he seems to enjoy doing these things. It’s almost as if he’s saying, “I dare you to stop me.” And, so far at least, nobody’s stopping him.

I hate Mitch McConnell. Mainly for refusing to even hold a hearing on Merrick Garland’s appointment to the Supreme Court and ramrodding Kavanaugh’s appointment through the Senate, thus turning the Supreme Court into a partisan institution.

I also hate him for passing Trump’s tax cut for the rich (Trump’s only legislative achievement) and refusing to bring almost any Democratic bill before the Senate for a vote.

McConnell is another man who seems to take pleasure in cruelty.

I hate hating everything. Because I like to think that I’m basically a positive person (I can hear you laughing) and hating everything is increasing my stress levels and reducing my lifespan.

They say that a cynic is just a disillusioned romantic.

Your move, universe.